The need of “ME” time

img_7590Maybe I should start this by saying how before our kids, it was so much easier to just get in the car and go for a nice dinner or a walk, just the two of us. I won’t say that, I won’t start that way. This isn’t about having a night out with your significant other. This is about the need of having time to yourself…To myself!

I need a date night with myself. As a mom, wife and working woman, I forget to add “Me” time in my planner.  I keep track all everyone’s activities, work schedule, and my schedule. I divide myself in every hour of the day. But I don’t get an hour to myself.

I’m not the only one.

I remember one day I got home from a long night of work at the hospital, got some empanadas at Noches de Colombia so when everyone woke up, they had breakfast. I did laundry, I folded the laundry. Everyone woke up, and they all needed something from me. The day went on and I realized I had been up for 20 hours. By then, it was already dinner time, and I just turned around and said to my husband “Why don’t you take the baby and go get some food at the diner, I’m not hungry”. I don’t know what he saw in my face but he didn’t object to that. He took the baby, my dad and my sister too. I WAS HOME ALONE!

The first thing I did was fill the tub w warm water and bubbles. I put some Alejandro Sanz on my iPhone. I was never so relaxed in my life! I forgot what it was to take a shower without being timed, without any noise, alone. I got out and I took my time changing to my PJs. I walked to the kitchen and I open a bag of Doritos and I sat on the counter and ate them. I opened the refrigerator and drank water from the 1 gallon plastic bottle. No one was there to judge me. It felt so good to have that time to myself!

I turned the TV on in room, and it was on Disney Channel. Couldn’t help but to think of my little one. I press the ‘LAST’ button on the remote and it changed to the History Channel, my husband’s favorite. Then I realized how much I miss my family.

I texted my husband to ask how much longer until they all get back. I was so happy to hear so much noise once that door opened up.

As moms, we shouldn’t deprive ourselves of having time to us and just relax.  However, we do what we do because we love our family.

Maybe a time to ourselves is necessary, but our lives will never be completed without the members in our families.

xVal – Sep 2017

 

 

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Just being Thankful! 

Your job is hard, and you deserve to know that your work is appreciated. You have made a difference in a lot of lives, and that Sunday, you made a difference in our lives.
I think it is safe to say that in the last few weeks police officers have had a lot of bad days. Some have faced a lot of hatred in the past days, events that could make any of you questioned putting on the uniform at the start of a shift. But I am so thankful that the two officers that came to our home that morning, didn’t question themselves that day.
Thank you! You both were so kind and tender that day.
I wanted to take the time to write this because people often are quick to judge and talk about all the bad things, but they always forget about the good ones, specially, they forget to say ‘Thank you’. I watch mainstream media crucify your character while minimizing your cause. People do not understand that we need you Police Officers, America needs you. The world isn’’t making it any easier for you guys to wake up with the same passion you had when you first started the academy. I know the world is making it extremely difficult for you to feel like anyone is on your side. It is becoming increasingly more difficult to put your life on the line for a world that has seemingly turned its back on you. But, I hope that won’t stop you. The world seems to forget is that you don’t suit up every day for their approval. You don’t put your life on the line so people will sing your praises from the mountain tops, everyone keeps forgetting to say ‘Thank You’. God knows you don’t do it for the money, as a wife of a Police Officer, I seen the paychecks. All the money that gets taken from you guys for taxes, pensions and benefits, while people out there don’t pay taxes and have health benefits. Yet, they’re the ones that don’t give you guys the gratitude and thanks you deserve.
I am so thankful for you Police Officers, specially the two that were sent that morning. I’m lifting up a prayer for you today, for your safety, wisdom, and courage.
Thank you for putting our community that you serve above your family. Now that the holidays are coming, I know how hard it gets. Not only do you have to deal with more craziness out there, but also you have to give up so much of your time with your families to serve and protect. – Thank you to their families as well for allowing you guys to do your job.
You’ve chosen to be a warriors. And I’m aware that there isn’t a magic solution that will make the world see you for who you are – the amazing men and women in blue. But I wanted you both and all the rest of you Police Officers to know that You are honorable, You are courageous and You are worthy of a nation’s support.
As I keep seeing you guys directing traffic in the heat, the snow, and in the rain; and being filmed every time you try to do your job. I see how you guys get tired for being misunderstood. I seen you are hurt when you bury your brothers and sisters that died because they were guilty of one thing: wearing a uniform with a badge.
I also see you that you are humans, with a heart beat. Every time you put on that uniform, I see you putting my safety above yours. And I truly appreciate that. Thank you for doing a job most of us couldn’t do, a job that doesn’t guarantee you a return home.
You both were so brave and focus on making the best decision in that moment for my daughter.
So to you guys that came that morning and every police officer out there, Thank you for everything that you do.
Thank you for making that choice to protect and serve. Thank you for keeping us safe. Thank you for your sacrifice. Thank you for getting up again today to protect my family!

Our “Hero”…

As I type this, my little girl is asleep in front of me. My husband is sleeping too; he worked 13 hours last night.

I see her with her tiny hands and her toes. She lets little giggles out in her sleep. She looks so peaceful. In her eyes, this world is perfect. In her eyes, there is neither evil nor hate. There is no wrong. In her eyes, no one would ever purposefully hurt her father and everyone loves him just as much as she does.

Unfortunately, I know better.  I know hate and death threats.  I know someone would hurt her father simply because they hate the fact he wears a uniform.  I know people would look at her with disgrace when they find out that she is the daughter of a Police Officer. And, it makes me sad.  It makes me sad on one hand and it makes me angry on the other.

God gave me the gift of being this child’s mother. I do not take this gift lightly.

I know that it is my job to teach her to love others based on their heart and not a label.  It’s my job to teach her kindness, loyalty, and bravery.  I must teach her to never play the victim and to always accept responsibility for her choices. It’s my job to raise her into a woman.

I have read the comments of citizens that are against Police’s movements and have called for officers deaths.  I see them.  I see the Facebook pages with all type of comments against the Police. I see the videos of the ‘victims’ of the Police. I read the petitions. And, I have to be honest, I don’t get it.

I don’t know if it is that I just don’t understand, or that I don’t want to understand. I refuse to raise my daughter in a world where people like to play the victim. I REFUSE to be that kind of parent.

People, start taking responsibilities for your actions! Stop blaming the system, the Police, the time, the dog, just STOP it already!

It’s time to redirect our focus and reassess our lives. I want this sweet little brown eyes girl to have the greatest life she can possible have. I want her to share with her father every achievement in her life. I want to see her play, laugh and have her first Father-Daughter dance.

It makes me sad to know that ignorance can stop her from enjoying a life time with her dad. It makes me angry to fear every day for her father to come home safe.

My little girl and her father still asleep. Tonight he’ll go to work, and in her mind, he’ll be back. In my heart, I pray God to protect him. She doesn’t know that ‘hate’ might stop him from making his way back home. I know that our lives can change any night because people see our “Hero” as a threat.

xVal – Sep 2015

What’s more painful? The Word or the Behavior?

“Harassment” What a painful word!

The dictionary defines it as a wide range of behaviors of an offensive nature, but you guys are defining it as ‘Police Officer.’ Why?
We are all free to speak our minds and do what we have to do when we think something is wrong. But are we going too far? Are we really going after the true enemy? Are we being ‘harass’?
It’s so easy to say ‘Oh they Police is out to get me’ ‘They gave me a ticket without a reason’ and many other things. However, do we take a second to think if we did anything wrong?
The next door neighbor who works Monday to Friday 7am to 7pm gets up every morning at 5am. He has three kids; the youngest one is 1 year old. He leaves the house with his other two kids and takes them to school, and his wife stands by the door holding his 1 year old and waving Good-Bye. He always leaves 30 minutes early because the line at Dunkin Donuts is too long and he doesn’t want to be late for work. Saturday night comes and he’s finally happy to hold his wife to sleep and not have to rush in the morning. Yes! Just for one night, he wants to sleep. But he can’t, because your music is just too loud. And now his 1 year old has tears in his eyes. I wonder if after you got a warming from the Police you thought about this hard working neighbor of yours that was trying to sleep. When the Police came the second time and asked you to lower the music, did you think about this man’s long week at work. I wonder, after the third time that the Police showed up and gave you a ticket, did you finally think of that 1 year old that couldn’t sleep because you wouldn’t lower your music?
Music is not a crime, celebrating and be happy, is not a crime. Not letting an innocent 1 year old sleep is a crime. We don’t all have to celebrate with you. We don’t all have to hear your music preferences. I get it, music is nice. Sleep in peace is also nice.
But you are not thinking that way. You think that the Police are after you. You think the Police are harassing you. I get it. It is in all of us to try to justify our actions. Our first reaction when we think we are being attack is to make ourselves look like a victim. Are we really a victim of the Police? Is the Police really after us? Are we being harassed? Or are WE putting ourselves out there misbehaving and we just don’t like the punishment?
No one likes to pay for a ticket. The cost of life is increasing by the second. Paying $200-$400 for a ticket is not affordable. We all hate it. I get it. It is a pain in the butt.
But the music still loud, the next door neighbor still not able to spend ONE night in peace, and that little 1 year old still has tears in his eyes…

xVal – Sep 22/2015